Dreaming In Ourselves

I spent a wonderful weekend in Moab again. We camped out along the Colorado River, and we were lucky to find a secluded spot. It was Jeep Safari weekend, so the entire area was filled with Jeepsters roaming all over the place. Our campsite was down a huge embankment, nestled within oaks while sitting not too far above the river. Across the Colorado was this beautiful red butte that I couldn't get enough of looking at. The river sounded so beautiful, and it was high and muddy from the spring run-off. That was good to see since our drought has caused this river to sink so low. I heard the other day that by 2030, the southwest will be a dust bowl...so I pray for rain grateful for even one drop that falls upon my face as I look up to the clouds.

That night it rained. It was such a beautiful thing, because I actually heard the river calling to the clouds, calling to them to share rain with it. The river became so loud within a few minutes before the rain answered and fell upon the land. When the rain began to fall, the river quieted, and the only sound one can hear was the sweet smelling rain. It rained for a couple of hours, and when it stopped, I snuck out of the tent with my dogs and headed to the river. I sat there and meditated for awhile, and some seeds were planted within me.

We all keep talking about Global Warming and how we have to change our ways, start recycling, drive more efficient cars, etc....but what about ourselves? We need to change in order for any kind of permanent change to occur. What I mean by this is the inner pollution that we walk around with and spew everywhere; this inner pollution creates destructive behaviors, and in order for us to truly reverse Global Warming or to dream in a New World, we have to dream our new selves in.

I've been watching all of this stuff about Imus, Mel Gibson and Michael Richards, and what they are all showing us is their inner pollution. By letting that inner pollution come out into the world we are seeing the destruction and pain it causes in the faces of those that their comments were directed towards. The horrible murders we see everyday, other evidence of what our inner pollution causes. Pollution in our world is not just caused by toxic chemicals, it is also caused by toxic emotions and pain.

Corn is an interesting Spirit to work with. Every time I am about to pray, I am asked by this Spirit if I am sure that this is the prayer that I want to plant. Every time we go out of our way to avoid those nasty, ugly feelings; which are basically our fears, we are planting a different type of prayer into the Earth and into the generations that are yet to come. We are planting our fears, our turbulent emotions, and it will be carried on...and those emotions will continue to pollute the Earth. How can we clean up the Earth if we can't even be aware of what is going on within ourselves?

So often we don't honor the Divine within ourselves. Sit down for a few minutes and really listen to all of the things you say to yourself. Would you say any of that out loud for anyone else to hear? Would you say those things to people you care about? Think about how you are polluting yourself and how that will spread through every interaction you have.

We can not create a new world if we don't recreate ourselves.

So the question is, how do we recycle ourselves? There are plenty of self-help books out there talking about this in their own way, however they don't talk about how this directly affects the Earth. If you are out of balance, how can the Earth find balance? We are a part of nature. We are not separate from it, yet we are the only species that does live out of balance.

It seems that Spirit wishes to learn about all the ways we bring ourselves out of balance and the ways in which we move back to our center. Think about the sacred spiral....When we are born, we are at our center....then our fears make us spiral further and further away until the day comes when we wake up...and then we spend the rest of our lives moving back to our center.

I think some of the best self-recycling techniques for myself sitting on the earth. Yes, just sitting on the Earth. Usually, we sit on chairs that get to sit on the Earth when we are in the great outdoors. I like to simply sit upon the Earth and feel that connection.

I do the Vipassana and Tonglen meditation especially when I want to avoid it. When I feel resistance, I know that I am on the verge of something big, so I go through the Vipasanna and Tonglen meditations, and it usually gets me through the shift.

If I can't slow down my reactions in a situation, I usually sit down later and go back over it and keep questioning what was really happening. Peeling through all the layers as best as I can...and resort to the Zen Meditation by asking myself over and over, "Who am I?" Usually, I think I am these emotions, I am these labels that come up from these situations...so by asking myself this question over and over, I slowly shed all of these layers of skin and get to the core essence for a brief moment. It helps me see with the eyes of an Eagle, because you can never heal a situation at the level it was created. If you try to heal it at the same level, you will always be mired in it. This is usually why the same issue comes up over and over again even though you thought you already dealt with it.

Another way of recycling my toxic emotions is I journal. I do stream of conscious writing. I choose something that is troubling me, and I write three pages about it without worrying about what is coming out, without pausing, without worrying about punctuation....just writing....letting everything come out that needs to come out. Usually, this really helps me get to the heart of something and a solution comes out of it...a way to alchemize it into something functional and empowering.

A fourth way is simply going out into Nature and praying...I pray and pray and pray...pray until I feel it shift in me...and whenever that shift does come, here is what I do...I imagine all of that negative energy being released up to the Universe in the form of black smoke, and I ask that it be transformed into healing energy that then rains down upon All Of My Relations in Golden Light. As it rains down upon me, I feel myself filling up with this energy....all the way to the top of my aura and then I share it with everyone....

If there is someone in your life that you just can't stand, try to see beyond that aspect of them that is driving you nuts....look beyond and see and feel their suffering. Pray for them....share some loving kindness with them by smiling at them...by not reacting in your usual way....Make a different choice, and a different relationship may develop. Now I'm not saying you have to be best friends with those that are abusive towards you, but still, try to see beyond the obvious...find compassion for them. You don't have to be their best friend, but that simple act of embodying compassion for them will help cleanse you of quite a bit of toxic emotions...recycle, recycle, and recycle...

Now about dreaming ourselves into being along with the New World...well, this is a huge subject...but try to envision yourself and who you wish to be. I'm not talking about what you wish to succeed at in life...but the basics...the simple basics...such as for me, I wish to embody a creative loving kindness that I can share with my fellow relations....I pray that I can drop my armor, which just keeps everyone out, and let this come forward more...so I am working on creating this vision for myself...

Mitakuye Oyasin