Vipassana & Tonglen

This has been a difficult week for me, but today sure brightened everything. Last week I went out into the cold and bitter wind and pruned back the apricot tree and a number of my plants in preparing for Spring. I made sure all of my plants were covered still to protect them from the cold...and then we had a wonderful warm up. One day it actually got up to 59 degrees. I couldn't believe it. All of the snow melted off, however, I still could open up a skating rink on the north side of my home. Of course a snowstorm moved in, and another one is coming this evening...and two more this week. It has been a very cold winter with a lot of snow, which is a blessing because of the drought we have been for years. However, today I walked outside, looked down, and saw my first dandelion coming up through the ground. Then I noticed that one Columbine was returning...beautiful, emerald green leaves....I continued my search and saw that my sage and yarrow and other dianthus are also starting to turn green and sprout some fresh shoots. My poppies are sprouting their fuzzy leaves, and then! Then I saw it...a pansy is coming back. This is the first time I have been able to get a pansy to survive the winter here, and lo and behold it has a small purple bloom on it....such joy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was ten degrees last night, yet life defies everything...:)

I love gardening. I love working with the soil...it is a healing process for the both of us I think. It is my way of healing the pollution within my life and within the land that I am a steward of, and that brings me to what I wanted to share today. As I said, I had a hard time this week, and a good friend of mine is also going through a difficult time. She is on the brink of making many changes, which is an exciting yet scary time. Usually, before we take that leap into transformation, we begin suffering from depression...mourning what we are about to let go of, and also still trying to avoid those feelings that are keeping us from making that leap.

I hear people talking about how to change the world we need to embody pure lakes and soil and what not...but how can we do that if we are polluted within? Our emotions pollute our body's terribly. The cloud up our waters, clog up our hears, and diminish our inner light. Feelings lie most of the time. Yes, they lie to us, because 95% of the time they originate from our fears! They do not originate from a place of empowerment. They are our fears trying to protect us from getting hurt or taking a chance that might lead us to pain, so they whisper some of the most negative things into our ears....things we would never say to our own best friends. When I was taught the following meditation, it began my journey towards becoming a friend to myself. I still struggle everyday, but then I remember this. It helps me all the time. It is also what I do after counseling sessions or Reiki sessions or Shamanic sessions with other people...it clears my energy, and moves me to a better place in case the day's emotions of others bogs me down.

First sit comfortably without any part of your body crossed. Make sure that your spine is straight but not uncomfortably so. If you wish to close your eyes, that is fine. If you wish to keep them open, that is fine as well...just soften your gaze. Focus upon your breathing. Shift all of your attention upon the inhalation and then the exhalation. If thoughts begin clamoring for attention, that is fine...just don't become attached or engaged with them. Notice them and then return your focus back to your breath.

When you feel relaxed and centered, allow your awareness to start moving through your entire body. From the tip of your head down to your toes, and see if there is any area that is demanding your attention. When you find an area, shift your awareness to this area, and simply begin naming whatever comes up for you such as "tight, dark, pain, sadness, anger," etc. Just the fact that you are naming everything brings you from an unconscious place to a conscious place...instead of burying, you are uncovering and listening to yourself. You are hearing your needs and what you are really experiencing in the moment. Every time I name something, I say "Yes" to it....We are so good at avoiding those feelings that we call ugly or unpleasant...we are always saying "no". Saying "yes" can transform anything and everything, because you are moving from a state of denial into acceptance. When I say yes, I am accepting it. The other day I fell and hit my head really hard. Instead of trying to tough it out or ignore the pain or complain about it, I kept saying "yes" to it. I embraced it, and thus I moved through it much faster, and I don't have a bump! As things come up for you, just keep saying "yes" or "I accept you." Do this for your entire body.

When you are done, this can be it, or you can go further. Stopping here is fine, and you will see just how by naming everything, your feelings will transform. You will be able to help others or approach others about issues in a much calmer and compassionate way. When someone really hurts me or ticks me off, if I can slow myself down, I will do this. It helps me identify my triggers, and then I can have a much more authentic conversation with someone else.

If you decide to go further, then go back to whatever area in your body that was demanding the most attention from you. Listen to what it has to say, and then invite that aspect of you to sit down with you. Is it angry, sad? I got a nasty rejection letter from a gallery the other day after my Save Darfur project completely fell apart. I sunk into a deep sadness, so I sat down and did this meditation. The part that joined me was the little girl in me that could do nothing right. I said, "Yes" to her, and then I told her how sorry I was for her suffering...how beautiful she was, and how I saw all the wonderful things she could do and has done. I wrapped my arms around her and began the Tonglen practice.

I began inhaling her sadness, and on the exhale I would release it up to the Universe asking that my sadness and suffering be transformed into healing energy. I did this for awhile until I felt the energy begin to lift. Then I thought of a friend who I knew had struggled with this in the past, and I began inhaling her suffering and exhaling it up to the Universe where it could be transformed into healing energy. When I felt the energy lift a bit more, I thought of a person I passed on the street that I didn't know, and I thought about how maybe they had suffered in this way once before. I went through the breathing process for them....when the energy lifted, I moved on. I then thought of a person that I do not get a long with at all....and I knew that maybe one of the reasons why we didn't get along is because of what we mirror to one another...I knew she probably suffered in this way too, so I began the breathing process for her. I began inhaling her suffering, and exhaling it up to the Universe so it could be transformed into healing energy. When the energy shifted a bit more, I began thinking about every aspect of this world, and how many suffer in the same way, and I began doing the breathing process for them. Usually, by this time, I feel so connected with the World Community, and so blessed. At this time, I envision all of the healing energy pouring down through my crown and filling up my entire body....moving through all of my chakras, including my feet...this is important, because a lot of people only like to work from the heart chakra up, which creates imbalances. When I am totally filled up, the energy begins pouring out to me, and I visualize it going out to everyone I did Tonglen for.

Is this a magic pill? No...I needed to do it for two days before I had completely shifted the energy. However, in the past, this would have taken me weeks to move through.

This is one way we can spiritually begin transforming the way we pollute our bodies and shifting the world consciousness.

Another good technique to do is every-time you complain, say something negative out loud or to your self, or think negative thoughts of others, put your hand around your throat, because you are choking your life and your connection to the Divine. It is a good way for you to become aware of how your thoughts make your choices and affect your interactions with everyone.

When you become good with Vipasanna and Tonglen, you can practice this with the Earth and its waters...go through the same process with a body of water...realize how its suffering is similar to yours, and go through the Tonglen practice. This is the way to truly embody pure waters. When your body is no longer polluted, we will not want to pollute the waters anywhere else. We will stop projecting our self-destructive ways upon our Sweet Earth Mother.

I hope this is helpful!